Today some of my fears come to visit me right here in Japan, and it wasn’t so bad. I spent time with mentally handicapped kids, two with Downs, maybe the third too and the last had compulsive behaviors. She would jump and clap at times as well a hand full of other behaviors that were not quite the norm. I didn’t know whether to laugh be scared or join in. Why am I intimidated by such folk? Part of the answer for me is fear because if anything else goes awry in my brain I could be similar, of the rest I don’t have a clue – maybe just plain old ignorance (like a fear some of ‘it’ will rub off).
So as it turns out, these folk were delights, easily delighted and were pretty much about living in the moment. Teachers always enter my life from the most unexpected directions. Funny how these confessions embarrasses me and I also find myself fearing judgment (still,…?, since when do I give a fuck what you think-maybe its a lesson in a lesson)
My point is the Universe sees fit to keep me growing and makes sure I’m getting an ongoing education in what it means to be human. So far, I believe I’m managing to stay open, laughing at myself (as well as being disgusted with myself and learning love (self & the rest of the rainbow of loves). I dance between selfishness and gratitude on a regular basis but the big picture is I’m getting clues as to why I’m here. Thank the Universe (be it God, Spirit, our corporate souls all combined together or what ever image tickles your fancy and/or your belief) that my challenges and blessings are met out in close to equal measure in my life so I can continue to grow as I grow, do what I do and hopefully fulfill what my role is while I’m here. Though it’s easy to say, but not as easy to do, I will continue this journey of not fleeing things that cause me discomfort because my personal history has consistently proved to me that the prize has always outweighed the discomfort